In Memoriam
Stephen Robb Billings
Steve Billings
Steve Billings
1963 graduation
The Rev. Stephen Robb Billings, 74, of Haverford, an Episcopal priest and advocate for those oppressed or in need, died Wednesday, July 1 of lymphoma at his vacation home in Falmouth, Mass. He had fought the disease since 2010.
The son of Elliot A. and Priscilla Robb Billings, Mr. Billings grew up in Coral Gables, Fla. He sensed he might be called to minister in the Episcopal Church, but initially dismissed the idea, feeling unworthy of such a calling. “Only later did he come to understand that it was not a matter of his worthiness but rather of God's purposes and Grace” he said in a biography prepared for his 50th reunion at Yale University.
As graduation from Yale drew near in 1963, Mr. Billings prepared for graduate school there but was nominated to receive a one year fellowship to the Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, Mass. A careful, deliberate man, Mr. Billings accepted the fellowship to test the vocation and never looked back. He graduated from Episcopal Divinity School in 1966 and underwent clinical pastoral education at Worcester State Hospital. That study laid the foundation for a fulfilling and challenging life as a priest starting in 1967.
Between 1966 to 2006, he served many local churches and agencies. He was curate at Church of the Messiah, assistant rector at St. Mary's Episcopal Church, Ardmore; executive director of Community Youth Services NGO (a drug and alcohol abuse prevention effort in Bryn Mawr); rector of the Church of the Holy Apostles and the Mediator, Philadelphia; and director of the department .of church and community ministries at Episcopal Community Services, the social services arm of the Diocese of Pennsylvania.
While holding these positions, he served as an associate chaplain at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and the Institute of Pennsylvania Hospital as a part time therapist and also as a teacher of pastoral care. "He cared deeply about people, and advocated for those who were oppressed or in need, recovering from addiction, incarcerated, mentally ill, or marginalized," his family said. He received a postgraduate certificate in marital, family. and sex therapy from Marriage Council of Philadelphia (now Council for Relationships), and was a clinical member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. He served on the boards of Episcopal Community Services North Penn Visiting Nurse Association, Family Services of Montgomery County, Montgomery County Child Day Care Association, Florence Crittenton Services, Family Support Center, Red Cross Disaster Relief, and the Haverford Civic Association. While at Yale, he sang in the Glee Club and organized the club's 1963 European tour. In later years, he was active in reunions.
A member of Church of the Redeemer, Bryn Mawr, he enjoyed singing in the choir, teaching fourth and .fifth grade Sunday school, serving on the Outreach Grants Committee, and participating in the African Children's Mission committee which he. chaired. Since 2004, he had been engaged in the ministry to the poor in Malawi, AIDS orphans and others affected by HIV, malaria, and food shortages. He made mission trips to Malawi in 2005, 2007 and 2009.
He was an, avid gardener, swimmer, and runner, and in earlier years was a bicyclist. It was routine for. him to mow the lawn, trim the hedges in his yard, and then go for a run or swim. Along with his father and brothers, Mr. Billings raced sailboats on Biscayne Bay in Florida in the winter and on Buzzards Bay in Massachusetts in the summer. He was a lifelong member of the Quissett Yacht Club in Falmouth and taught sailing there. Handy around the house, be liked to do home repairs and repurpose found objects for creative, unexpected uses. He loved caring for his grandchildren and his pet dogs.
He is survived by his wife Barbara Morrison Billings; a daughter, Melissa J.; four grandchildren; three brothers; and many nieces and nephews. A daughter, Laura Elizabeth Billings, and a brother, Roger Billings, died earlier. His. former wife, Charlotte Billings, survives.
Contributions may be made to Episcopal Relief and Development, Box 7058, Merrifield,. Va. 22116; Episcopal Community Services. 225 S. Third St.; Philadelphia 19106; or African Children's Mission, Church of the Redeemer; 230 Pennswood Rd., Bryn Mawr, Pa. 19010.
from Charlie Dilks:
My involvement with Stephen was centered around Yale singing. We sang together for four years as undergraduates. In our senior year, we worked together as manager and assistant manager of the Yale Glee Club - not only for our year-long events but also on a European tour following graduation. We hooked up again on Stephen's return to Philadelphia after he had been ordained as an Episcopal minister. We teamed up to bring the Yale Glee Club to Philadelphia on three different occasions sponsored by the Yale Club of Philadelphia. We arranged all the logistics including housing for the undergraduate singers.
Steve loved music and particularly choral music as well as helping others.
He was dedicated, faithful and a tireless worker for those needy
individuals with whom he came in contact. He had a long bout with his
cancer but continued his connection with his friends and, for that matter,
his Yale Class and Yale singing. In fact, our last event together was when
he came to our Philadelphia/Yale Class Mini-Reunion and led the group in
Bright College Years. He will be sorely missed!
from Jon Larson:
My involvement with Steve was centered around Calhoun College and our intramural crew where Steve was our coxswain. See the photo below of Steve taking his charges out for an intramural race. We had a good boat, some really big guys in the middle, my own innate gift of good musical timing as the stroke setting the variable SPM (strokes per minute) pace cadence which compensated for my lack of physical bulk/power, and most if not all of us had rowed in high school and Freshman year. Steve really enjoyed taking us out on the water. He was a stern task master, and I recall we won a fair share of our races. As stroke sitting right in front of Steve, he would communicate his recommendations and orders with us including windage, race strategy, and the stroke pace. As the "least tall" person in the shell, he certainly took command and enjoyed harnessing eight "race horses" into a smooth oiled machine all pulling together with immense but controlled power and finesse. We enjoyed our time on the water together with Steve.
What Steve lacked in physical stature, he more than made up for with a deep voice and an engaging manner. Deeply principled, his inner strength and presence came through. I am grateful for the time we spent together at our 50th and for his relating to me his special challenges Freshman year at Yale making the adjustment to college life, roommates, and the Yale demands. Reading his obituary above reminds us all of how many "small people" he must have counselled over the years as he sought to minister to their needs. Another good Yale man taken before his time. Steve's passing now, of a big man in the true sense of the word, leaves us with yet another reminder that each day we are here together is a gift, not to be wasted.
Calhoun crew, Steve as our coxswain.
from Wikipedia... In rowing, the coxswain verbally and physically controls the boat's steering, speed, timing, and fluidity. The primary duty of a coxswain is to ensure the safety of those in the boat. In a race setting, the coxswain is tasked with motivating the crew as well as steering as straight a course as possible to minimize the distance to the finish line. Coxswains are also responsible for knowing proper rowing technique and running drills to improve technique.
from David Boren:
On July 1, we lost a very special member of the Class of 1963, the Reverend Stephen R. Billings. Steve was the best possible roommate, always thoughtful and kind and always there for Dale Hershey and for me when we needed him. He was that way for the rest of his life. Steve was a loving son, husband, father, uncle and brother. But his love did not stop with his family. He truly loved humanity. His actions as a pastor, advocate for the poor, the helpless, the mentally ill and children speak far more eloquently than any verbal description. He filled multiple posts for the Episcopal Dioceses of Pennsylvania. He was a rector for several congregations, a director of faith services, and a chaplain for the Children’s Hospital of Pennsylvania.
Steve also loved Yale. As a former Glee Club member and manager he especially loved Yale’s great singing tradition. For Steve signing meant beauty, inspiration, and good fellowship. Any time Bright College years is sung, Steve’s spirit will be with us.
His beloved wife, Barbara, was constantly at his side during his last illness. He died peacefully at the vacation home in Falmouth, Massachusetts near the home where his parents had lived.
from Dale Hershey:
Steve Billings, David Boren, and I first met as freshmen in Mr. Tappan’s French 10 class. We did not become instant French speakers, but we did quickly become friends. The three of us roomed together in Calhoun College as juniors and seniors. After graduation my friendship with Steve continued when we were both in Cambridge, he at the Episcopal Theological School and I at the law school.
Steve came from a large, active family--four brothers and a sister. The family home was near Falmouth on the Cape. I spent a happy Thanksgiving there and made other trips, sometimes biking and sailing. Steve was precise about small things; for example, his shoes were always perfectly shined. He had a special shining technique. I always think of him on those rare occasions when I shine my own. Somehow, with his large family orientation and his capabilities with all tasks, Steve always found himself in a large group of people, interrelating, laughing, and working toward some useful goal. So he sat in the shell of the Calhoun College crew, using his strong voice as coxswain. And he was a manager of the Yale Glee Club, one of his lifelong passions.
At Yale Steve rarely hinted that he might seek orders in the Episcopal Church. He was a man of faith, but he was not doctrinaire. His manner was to act out his generosity, his strong desire to be useful in a worthy cause. It was clearly this impulse within him that led him to the ministry. In the end, the list of causes he adopted and pursued successfully is staggering. He worked with organizations, but he also aided people one by one. He could calm and reassure and reconcile. He knew how to do practical things. He stepped in when these skills were most needed. His broad, friendly smile, along with wise counsel, could put anyone at ease.
Steve’s “best friend,” as John and Abigail Adams once used the term, was his wife Barbara. Throughout their marriage, Barbara has joined and sustained Steve in his all his work. Through the ups and downs of his long illness, Barbara was tireless in giving care and maintaining Steve’s ties with his friends. She is an accomplished person who has always had her own commendable commitments. I do wish her the best.